A culinary scorecard for all 30 major league baseball stadiums, from the highs (the Ichiroll in Seattle, the beef brisket in Kansas City) to the lows (anything at U.S. Cellular Field in Chicago).
American League
Rangers Ballpark
Arlington, Tex.
Rangers
What to order: All-you-can-eat prime rib buffet at the Diamond Club. The lavish buffet ($22.95) includes hand-tossed Caesar salads, fresh grilled fish and Southwestern-style chicken. But save room for a second helping of the slow-roasted, herb-crusted rib-eye. The club opens two hours before game time, offering great views of batting practice.
What to avoid: The pretzel dog, available at several stands. Imagine stuffing a cold, oversalted hot dog into a cardboard tube, then rolling that inside shoe leather.
Oriole Park at Camden Yards
Baltimore
Orioles
What to order: Boardwalk Fries, from a stand behind home plate. Thick cut, skin-on fries, with a full-on potato flavor. Take them to the nearby condiment station and assault them with malt vinegar, salt and Old Bay seasoning. Ideally, paired with the locally brewed Backfin Pale Ale.
What to avoid: The Crab Cake Sandwich from Charm City Seafood, above. Soggy, fishy and bland. And no, those little packages of tartar sauce don't do anything to improve the situation.
Fenway Park
Boston
Red Sox
What to order: The turkey sandwich, with stuffing and cranberry, sold under Section 7. It is enough to satisfy any New Englander's inner pilgrim, especially when washed down with a Sam Adams draft. Runner up: crowds go crazy for the freshly popped Kettle Korn in the Big Concourse, behind the bleachers. Fenway tried removing the old-fashioned stand on opening day this year; the public outcry was so loud that it reappeared by the second home stand.
What to avoid: The kosher hot dog, served from a vending machine. The hot dogs are so rubbery that even ketchup can't mask the taste.
U.S. Cellular Field
Chicago
White Sox
What to order: Nothing. Your best bet is to bring a six-pack to the parking lot, and barter a cold one for a tailgater's hot dog. Failing that, a box of Cracker Jack.
What to avoid: Everything.
Progressive Field
Cleveland
Indians
What to order: A vanilla cone from Strickland's Frozen Custard, near Section 160. An Ohio institution for 70-plus years, the custard is made daily in the ballpark, by machines reverse-engineered from the 1930s originals. It comes in chocolate, vanilla and a scoop du jour, although for custard purists, vanilla is the ticket.
What to avoid: The bratwurst from the Ball Park Market near Section 174. Pale, rubbery and served on a flabby bun, this little sausage might as well be a flavorless hot dog. And don't count on the prepackaged sauerkraut to perk things up.
Comerica Park
Detroit
Tigers
What to order: The gyro, from Leo's Coney Island, behind the right-field foul pole. Savory slabs of beef and lamb are stuffed inside a warm pita, along with snappy tomatoes, onions and tangy tzatziki. The line can be long, but it is worth the wait.
What to avoid: Little Caesars pizza. Clever baseball puns like the Ham Run and the Triple Play do nothing to help the rock-hard crust, bland sauce and thawed toppings. Interestingly, the founder of Little Caesars, Mike Ilitch, also owns the Tigers.
Kauffman Stadium
Kansas City
Royals
What to order: Barbecue beef sandwich from Gates BBQ, located in two stations on the main concourse. The tender slices of beef brisket are well-spiced, piled on a four-inch hamburger bun and slathered with a peppery sauce. The sweet and smoky beans are a perfect complement.
What to avoid: The corn dog. It is disturbingly large, with overly sweet cornbread and a mushy hot dog center. Shun at all costs.
Angels Stadium
Los Angeles
Angels of Anaheim
What to order: The brisket sandwich at Beach Pit BBQ, at two locations including the outdoor plaza behind the right field bleachers. The meat is fall-off-the-bone tender and served on a soft white bun, just as they do down South. Only one complaint: ask for an extra side of barbecue sauce; the smoky and tangy sauce is that good.
What to avoid: The cheese pizza at California Pizza Kitchen, one of the stadium's many fast-food offerings. The crust was as dry and hard as the cardboard box it came in.
Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome
Minneapolis
Twins
What to order: The carved turkey sandwich, above, from the Minnesota Carvery, behind Section 132. A server in a chef's toque carves your platter to order: thin slices of succulent turkey breast served on a egg bun, with a crispy Caesar salad on the side. The turkey is so moist that you won't miss the gravy.
What to avoid: The sausage pizza from Papa John's. Soggy crust, rubbery cheese and sausage that tastes like breakfast links reheated in a microwave.
Yankee Stadium
New York
Yankees
What to order: The chicken fingers seems to have a hush-hush following. Even better is the Cuban sandwich at the Goya stand in the field-level food court, freshly pressed with juicy ham, cheese and garlicky pickles.
What to avoid: Anything from the Chinese stand in the same food court. The egg rolls were grease logs and the noodles slimy.
McAfee Coliseum
Oakland, Calif.
Athletics
What to order: The ''famous ball tip sandwich'' from Kinder's BBQ. A hoagie roll, stuffed with a well-balanced mix of sliced barbecued sirloin, lettuce, tomatoes and a mess of Kinder's smoky-sweet sauce.
What to avoid: Fried fish, fried chicken, fried anything. Fresh oil seems to be in short supply in this stadium.
Safeco Field
Seattle
Mariners
What to order: The Ichiroll, a spicy tuna roll named after the Mariners' center fielder, Ichiro Suzuki. And while you're at the Ichiroll stand, near the left field entrance and at the Rice n Roll behind center field, grab some edamame and a box of chocolate Pocky.
What to avoid: Anything involving hot links and barbecue. The links are spongy and soft, and taste nothing like their Texan counterpart. .
Tropicana Field
St. Petersburg, Fla.
Rays
What to order: Kazmir Bratwurst and Kraut, from the Brew House. Named for the pitcher Scott Kazmir, the grilled bratwurst is served on a fresh hoagie with sauerkraut and a side of tasty fries. The Brew House, in an upset, also has good cocktail, including the Electric Ray -- Malibu coconut rum, blue cura? and pineapple juice.
What to avoid: Crawford's Cajun Grilled Mahi Mahi sandwich, also from the Brew House. Carl Crawford may be a sensational outfielder, but his namesake dish is as dry and bland as a leather mitt.
Rogers Center
Toronto
Blue Jays
What to order: Tucked among the fast-food emporiums serving up the same dispiriting choices of pizza, hot dogs, hamburgers and more pizza are a couple of cooking stations called the Grille that offer a bit of culinary salvation. The freshly cooked sausages have a nice snap to them, and are made even better when accompanied by a frothy glass of Alexander Keith's India Pale Ale.
What to avoid: The Montreal Smoked Meat Sandwich must be Toronto's sly attempt to undermine the culinary reputation of its Quebec rival. The meat was a mystery, the smoky flavor nonexistent, and the wait at the counter interminable.
National League
Turner Field
Atlanta
Braves
What to order: The Georgia Dog, found in the plaza at the park's main entrance. A jumbo Hebrew National is heaped with coleslaw and Vidalia onion relish. Add a little mustard to cut the sweetness and enjoy it with a Tomahawk ale, a dark amber brew available only on the second level at gates 222 and 235.
What to avoid: Barbecue pork ribs from Skip and Pete's Hall of Fame BBQ. This small slab of dry, leathery ribs is simply a sin.
Wrigley Field
Chicago
Cubs
What to order: An Italian sausage with hot or sweet peppers or, preferably, both. It's not the end-all be-all in this city of sausages, but they've got a crisp, charred casing and a good fennel seed flavor.
What to avoid: It's bad enough that the Cubs haven't won a World Series in a century. But the hot dogs, mealy and flavorless, are a travesty.
Great American Ball Park
Cincinnati
Reds
What to order: A Cheese Coney, above, from Skyline, on the plaza level behind first and third bases. This local concoction -- a hot dog topped with chili, mustard, onions and cheese -- is a Cincinnati delicacy, and the version from Skyline is arguably the city's favorite. Is that cinnamon or chocolate in the chili? Don't bother asking; it's a family secret.
What to avoid: Funachos. There's nothing fun or nacho-like about this gloppy pile of flavorless chips, processed liquid cheese and jalape?from a can.
Coors Field
Denver
Rockies
What to order: The crowd favorite might be the buffalo wurst, a meaty alternative to the everyday hot dog, but the bun is often stale. Extreme noshers might opt for the Rocky Mountain oysters, though in truth, they are more of a novelty than a treat. The real winners, surprisingly, are the mini-doughnuts, sold on the first deck near the kids' play area -- served piping hot, with a gentle sprinkling of powdered sugar.
What to avoid: Nachos. The chips are stale, the cheese is microwavable and the salsa tasteless. Not even a cold Blue Moon Belgian White beer, which was invented in the stadium's Sandlot Brewery, can save it.
Dolphin Stadium
MiamiGardens, Fla.
Marlins
What to order: Empanadas from Maggie's Empanada Bistro, above. These stuffed little pockets add local flavor to an otherwise bland stadium menu. Go straight for the traditional Argentine empanada stuffed with ground beef, hard-boiled eggs and olives. The meat is well-seasoned and the shell is the perfect combination of crispy on the outside and soft on the inside.
What to avoid: Cuban sandwich from Carvery. Too much neon yellow mustard smothered this classic meat combo. Eight bucks that could've been spent on a beer.
Minute Maid Park
Houston
Astros
What to order: The sizzling beef fajita with vegetables from Rosa's Taqueria, at several locations on the main concourse. The beef is juicy, well-spiced and served on a tortilla that is made from fresh dough while you wait. Top it off with sour cream, two spoons of green salsa and a squirt of lime, before washing it down with a frozen margarita with salt.
What to avoid: The superstar dog with chili cheese from Union Station. The rubbery hot dog, greasy chili and cold cheese combine to leave a soggy mess on your fingers, face and clothing.
Dodger Stadium
Los Angeles
Dodgers
What to order: A Fairfax sandwich -- peppery pastrami and tender corned beef on rye -- at Canter's Deli on the lower level. You'll need a field level ticket to get there. Otherwise, show up at least an hour early for batting practice, when your movement isn't restricted by ticket class.
What to avoid: Don't order a Dodger Dog. Ever. Not even if the lady at the stand says hers are the best in the park. She's lying to you. Get the Super Dog instead.
Miller Park
Milwaukee
Brewers
What to order: Get a grilled bratwurst -- Wisconsin's unofficial dish -- and don't pass go without dressing it with mustard and onions. The brats, made by Klement's, have a nice blend of German spices, a snappy bite and a good char.
What to avoid: Is mushy pulled-pork any way to honor Gorman Thomas, one of the greatest sluggers in Brewers history? Maybe the Stormin' Gorman sandwich is the team's way of getting him back for all those strikeouts.
Shea Stadium
New York
Mets
What to order: A Nathan's hot dog. The roaming dog vendors sell them for $5, but you can save a quarter and get more condiments at the concession stands. Besides, it's not a real New York hot dog without onions, mustard and sauerkraut.
What to avoid: The barbecue, the burgers, the pizza. The sushi's not terrible, but trust us, stick to the dogs.
Citizens Bank Park
Philadelphia
Phillies
What to order: The pork and provolone sandwich with broccoli rabe at Tony Luke's on Ashburn Alley, behind centerfield. The roasted pork is moist and tender, the provolone adds a salty creaminess and that broccoli rabe almost makes it feel like a healthy option. Almost.
What to avoid: The cheese steaks. Greasy, chewy and nowhere as good as the proper cheese steak joint up the road.
Chase Field
Phoenix
Diamondbacks
What to order: Garlic fries from Gordon Biersch, with several locations in the arena. The classic-cut fries are crispy and hot, and loaded with minced garlic and herbs. Even better with a cold Marzen, a golden-sweet lager brewed by the same vendor.
What to avoid: Don't go near the sushi sold at Panda Express. It's squishy, soggy and frighteningly tepid.
PNC Park
Pittsburgh
Pirates
What to order: The pit beef at Manny's BBQ. Better than most of the barbecue joints named after retired players (and there are many). Plus, Manny Sanguill?himself is often on hand to chat and sign autographs.
What to avoid: Anything at Pop's Plaza. Willie (Pops) Stargell managed to get 2,232 hits with the Pirates; this food court, named in his honor, couldn't muster one.
Busch Stadium
St. Louis
Cardinals
What to order: The bratzel, sold behind Sections 139 and 152. This tasty twist on the classic pig- in-the-blanket consists of a hot bratwurst artfully wrapped up in a fresh, slightly sweet pretzel. Best doused with the spicy mustard and served with a local brew.
What to avoid: Toasted ravioli. Yes, it's a St. Louis original, but the ballpark version is fried and doughy, filled with mushy meat and served with a plastic container of cold marinara sauce.
Petco Park
San Diego
Padres
What to order: The garlic, Parmesan or Cajun fries, above, at Ruby's, a 1940s-themed establishment with a main outpost on the ground floor. Served in giant portions (in a shoebox-size tray), the shoestring-cut potatoes are cooked to order, crispy and seasoned to perfection.
What to avoid: The Friar Frank, the stadium's signature plain dog, was bland and weirdly wrinkled, as if it had been sitting in a bathtub too long. The sesame-seed bun was stale, too.
AT&T Park
San Francisco
Giants
What to order: The crab cake sandwich at Crazy Crab'z, from a shack behind the scoreboard in center field. An impossibly generous helping of sweet Dungeness crab is lightly dressed with mayonnaise and piled between grilled slices of sourdough bread.
What to avoid: Gilroy garlic fries. Despite the long lines of customers, the fries were limp and mealy and the garlic acrid.
Nationals Park
Washington
Nationals
What to order: Salted pretzel from Noah's Pretzels, available near the stadium entrance behind the left-field foul pole. Doughy on the inside, crispy on the outside and not oversalted like some of its Big Apple brethren, this twisty treat, served in the ''W'' shape of the team's logo, above, is a true winner at the spanking new digs.
What to avoid: Chili dog from Hard Times Cafe. It gets one strike for its crumbly bun, a second for the rubbery beef and a third for the soggy chili. Don't let this dog out.
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