Mashed ice cream and more in Miami Shores

The ice cream truck spurred childhood excitement, using its siren song to send you running across the neighborhood, only to discover Raekwon and Ghostface weren't actually selling Choco Tacos, they just wanted to bang your mom. Setting up a brick and mortar to avoid such confusion, Mooie's.

A high-end ice cream parlor run by a former South Beach nightlife promoter, bright, candy-store-colored Mooie's is decked with cow paraphernalia and a chalkboard menu, and lets you mash up a multitude of candy and more with the stuff I scream and you scream and we all scream for: help when trapped in fiery movie theaters. (Not really, ice cream). The good stuff comes from Blue Bell Creamery (a century-old Texas favorite), with all the staples plus a rotation of new creations like Caramel Turtle Fudge (caramel ice cream, chocolate turtles w/ caramel centers, pecan) and Birthday Cake (vanilla, pieces of chocolate cake & icing), all of which can be mashed up on their cold plate with other flavors and ad-ons like Heath Bar, Butterfinger, Famous Amos Cookies, graham crackers, and Gummy Bears, provided they can be stopped from bouncing here and there and everywhere. You can get even fatter thanks to sandwiches on baguette or ciabatta bread (most of which they'll press into paninis), with choices like prosciutto, mozz, and fresh basil; roast beef, cheddar, red onion, and arugula; and turkey, Brie, arugula, and pear, although substitutes are welcome, mainly because it's hilarious when you hit them with spitballs and pretend you're a new student named "Dick Hertz".

Mooie's also offers cakes and has a back area full of board games like checkers and Connect Four -- exactly what Rae and Ghost wanted to do with your mom those days Cappadonna was working, too.